How to Profit by One's Enemies

​Without this, indeed, it is not possible to keep control of the tongue, which is no small part of virtue, always obedient and submissive to reason, unless one subdues the worst of the passions, such as anger, by exercise, care, and diligence. For the voice falling out involuntarily, and the saying “a word has escaped the barrier of the teeth,” and the flying out of some words of their own accord, especially happens to unexercised tempers, as if slipping and flowing away, through weakness of temper, through an uncontrolled mind, and through a bold way of living. But for a word, which is the lightest thing, the heaviest punishment, according to the divine Plato, follows both from gods and from men. Silence, indeed, is not only everywhere unaccountable and, as Hippocrates says, without thirst (harmless), but also in abuses it is dignified and Socratic, or rather Herculean, since even he “did not care even a fly’s worth for hateful words.” And yet, there is nothing more dignified and beautiful than this: to keep silence against a abusing enemy, swimming past as though treating the scorner like a smooth rock, nor is there any other greater exercise. For if you accustom yourself to bear a abusing enemy in silence, you will very easily bear the anger of a wife speaking ill, and hearing the most bitter words of a friend and a brother, you will endure them without disturbance; and being struck and pelted by a father and a mother, you will present yourself without anger and without resentment. For Socrates indeed bore Xanthippe, who was passionate and difficult, so that he might easily associate with others, if he accustomed himself to endure her; but it is much better, having trained oneself in the rudeness, anger, jests, and abuses of enemies and strangers, to accustom the temper to keep silence and not to be vexed when being abused. ​Gentleness, therefore, and forbearance can thus be demonstrated in enmities, but simplicity, magnanimity, and goodness rather in friendships. For to do good to a friend is not so noble as it is shameful not to do so when he is in need; but even to omit revenge on an enemy when opportunity offers is reasonable and fair. And he who sympathizes with an enemy when he has stumbled, and assists him when in need, and shows some zeal and eagerness for the children and relatives of an enemy when they are in need of help—whoever does not admire the goodwill of such a man, nor praises his goodness, he ”is forged of adamant or iron, with a black heart.” When Caesar ordered the thrown-down honors of Pompey to be set up again, Cicero said, “You have set up the statues of Pompey, but you have fixed your own.” Wherefore, one must not spare praise or honor concerning an enemy who is justly of good repute. For it brings greater praise to those who praise, and it has trust again when complaining, as one who does not hate the man, but disapproves of his deed. And what is most beautiful and most useful, he who is accustomed to praise his enemies and not to be stung nor to envy them when they prosper, is placed furthest from envying successful friends and prospering relatives. And indeed, what other exercise works greater benefit to the souls, or a better disposition, than that which takes away our jealousy and spitefulness? For just as in war many of the necessary but otherwise base things, having taken on custom and the force of law, cannot easily be pushed away even when they are harmful, so enmity, bringing in envy along with hatred, leaves behind jealousy, spite, and malice. In addition to these, also cunning, deceit, and conspiracy, which seem not to be base or unjust against an enemy, if they are engendered, remain difficult to get rid of; then they use them against their friends themselves out of habit, if they do not guard against them towards their enemies. If, therefore, Pythagoras rightly, accustoming men to abstain from cruelty and greed in irrational animals, requested bird-catchers to desist and, buying hauls of fish, ordered them to be let go, and forbade the slaughter of any tame animal, it is surely much more dignified in differences and rivalries against men, being a noble, just, and true enemy, to chastise and make low the vicious, ignoble, and cunning passions, so that in dealings with friends one may be altogether calm and abstain from doing evil. Scaurus was an enemy of Domitius and his accuser. A slave of Domitius, therefore, before the trial, came to him as if having something to reveal of things unnoticed by him, but he did not allow him to speak, but having seized the man, led him away to his master. And when Cato was prosecuting Murena for bribery and gathering evidence, those who watched over his doings accompanied him according to custom to watch what was done. Many times, therefore, they asked him if he was about to gather anything today or to busy himself for the prosecution; and if he said no, believing him they went away. These things, indeed, hold the greatest proof of his reputation; but greater and more beautiful is it, that having been accustomed to use justice even towards enemies, we may never behave unjustly and cunningly towards our companions and friends.